Food Scarcity Issues in a Time of Coronavirus
There are a lot of posts, memes, and articles out there about how this pandemic is impacting everyone. I skipped posting last week because I imagine most of us are overwhelmed with all the content: We have been inundated with updates, news stories, personal commentaries… whether we’re seeking them or not. We are adjusting to a lack of social life, loss of income, cabin fever, constant anxiety and fear, rushing to set up a home office that still isn’t quite right, and attempting a really weird version of home schooling. With all this time we’re spending sheltering in place, many of us still are not being productive, or intentionally chilling out, or enjoying the time with our family. There are distractions at every turn: the dog is going stir crazy, the partner is taking their when you’re trying to finish a work call, the kids are not self-directed learners (and even if they were, the schoolwork instructions are confusing and convoluted).
Add to this chaos kids who have experienced food scarcity in the past, and are now forced to live through it again. Parents who have worked SO HARD to build felt safety and security in their kids with histories of trauma, abuse, and neglect are watching that foundation crumble. Kids who have been hearing “there’s always enough to eat” from their caregivers are now hearing “no, we’re saving that bread for tomorrow.” And still, every day I see memes and infographics circulating, instructing us to assure our kids that they are safe, that everything will be okay.
Here’s the thing: Kids who have already lived through food scarcity and other traumatic experiences can smell the b.s. in your Pollyanna statements. They know, with a deep-down-unshakeable certainty that all things are not always okay. And that past evidence shows them they can easily go from a safe situation to an unsafe one. Also? We, as grown-ups, are keenly aware of the uncertainty. We do not know how or when this is going to end. How can we smile brightly and tell our children there is nothing to worry about, when we are strategically planning our errands to find the eggs, milk, and toilet paper we need to get us through the week?
There are actually a few great videos and books popping up that help parents explain COVID-19 to their kids (thank you, Google search). If you’re not sure how to start the conversation (although I’m assuming all of you has had at least one conversation about this in your home, as the situation is un-ignorable at this point), those could be helpful resources. Beyond the explanation of this particular coronavirus, we parents can also help our kids in a few specific ways.
The first way is to make sure that that this pandemic is not being treated as The Thing We Don’t Discuss In Front Of The Kids. If your kids can hear you bringing it into your conversation with other adults, in a casual way, it can become less -panic inducing. For example, on the phone with their uncle: “We can’t wait to see you when the COVID stuff gets under control. Are there any activities you have in mind, once we get to see you?”
Second, when talking about the pandemic (with or around your kids), be sure to include statements about how you are keeping yourself and your family safe. Yes, this is a big deal. AND there are several things a person can do to decrease risk of exposure. And then make sure you go over that list of things as many times as your kids need you to, even stopping in between each thing to affirm that you and your family are practicing that precaution.
Lastly, we might need to reframe the food scarcity issue. As parents, we are all probably struggling to find that balance between reassuring our kids that we can still take care of them, while also trying to emphasize that we all need to take this seriously (“please stop joking about licking the grocery bags”). Reframing can be as simple as “I will always make sure our family eats, so we will plan our meals and snacks more intentionally for now. Would you like to sit down and help me create a menu for the week?” This can also lead to good at-home learning about perishables vs. not-so-perishables, how expiration dates inform our meal plans, and how to organize an ongoing grocery list. You can also encourage everyone to find a little joy in being more creative with the meals during this time (no joke: The other day I invented something we now call “Potacos” using baked potatoes instead of taco shells, and it was awesome).
Final note: If you’re a parent struggling with the food scarcity issue on top of everything else, I see you. This is really difficult. Hopefully some of these suggestions are helpful. If you’re lucky enough to know other parents with similar challenges, this might be a good time to reach out for extra input and support. If you need more support than social contact, this is a great time to look for a counselor in your state, as many are providing video counseling and have opened up their schedules to accommodate those who need their help. You are all essential. Stay safe, and take care.