Introverts and Extroverts: 5 Pointers for Parenting Kids with Opposite Personalities
No two kids are alike, and no one knows that better than a parent.
Your children might have completely opposite personalities, which is part of what makes them great.
But, it can also make it hard to “parent” in a way that appeases everyone. You might need to communicate differently with each child or work with them in different ways to make sure they’re developing properly.
Unfortunately, kids with opposite personalities, especially one that is introverted and one that is extroverted, can also butt heads more often. So, what can you do, as a parent, to raise kids with opposite personalities in an effective way?
1. Spend One-on-One Time With Each Child
One of the best ways to learn more about each of your kids while giving them the kind of attention they need is to devote individualized time to them.
You can schedule “dates” with each child once a week where just the two of you go out and do something. If you have an introverted child, that might include something as simple as staying home and watching a movie together.
Time apart is a wonderful way for that child to recognize how special they are. It’s also a great opportunity for them to understand that you’re listening and recognize their needs.
2. Praise Their Uniqueness
Your children’s differences are important. They are what makes them unique. Unfortunately, kids don’t always see it that way. They might see their differences as something that makes them “odd” or abnormal.
So, celebrate those unique traits and their differences as often as possible. Praise them and let them know how great you think their personality is. You might be surprised just how much that can simultaneously boost their self-confidence and sense of belonging.
3. Be Compassionate
If you have a younger child who wants to be like their older sibling but has a completely different personality, they might get down sometimes. Maybe they don’t want to do as much, but it makes them feel guilty. They may start to compare themselves and recognize that they just can’t be like their older brother or sister.
During those times, show compassion. Listen and let them fully share their concerns without judging or minimizing them. Remind them that they can love their sibling and still do whatever makes them personally happy. Emphasize that if more “home” activities or having a smaller circle of friends feels good, there’s nothing wrong with that.
4. Encourage Their Relationships
Even though your kids might be different, it’s important to encourage healthy relationships between them. Get the whole family involved in whatever one child likes to do, and rotate.
Sometimes, siblings have to experience the things others enjoy to get an appreciation for them. By encouraging healthy relationships and interaction under your roof, your kids can grow and thrive with strong personalities, regardless of whether they’re introverted or extroverted.
5. Don’t Over-Emphasize Things
Acknowledging and showing your children how special their differences are is important. But, don’t over-emphasize them. Some kids might not think it’s a big deal that their sibling is extroverted and they aren’t.
So, don’t make it a big deal.
They’ll recognize their differences on their own without you highlighting them. It’s when they start to see those differences that you need to pay attention closely to the beliefs they ascribe to their differences. If necessary, step in and reassure them that their personalities are perfectly normal.
Both introverts and extroverts are important, valuable, and serve a purpose in the world. There isn’t a personality that’s better than another. Keep that and these pointers in mind if your kids have opposite personalities.
Not only will it make for a more peaceful household, but your kids can grow up with more confidence in themselves and their natural tendencies. If you find you still struggle to parent effectively, please read more about parent counseling and feel free to contact me for more information.