Uncertain Times
I don’t know about you, but I am getting inundated with email from various places describing their cleaning methods and “still-open-for-business-but-being-cautious” statements related to the coronavirus. The schools surrounding our district have decided to extend Spring Break to keep kids home for another week. And I’m sure you’ve heard about all the big shutdowns of people, places, and things.
I am not posting this to let anyone know that I will continue to clean, disinfect, and wipe down my offices on a regular basis as usual (I mean, I will, but this is not about that). And I am not writing to inform anyone that my business is shutting down for a few weeks. This is more about how we, as humans, deal with uncertainty and fear.
We don’t know how big and terrible this latest health issue will become. We don’t know if it’s all just a bunch of propaganda blown out of proportion (although I do know many people who feel strongly on both sides). WE. DON’T. KNOW. And that, in itself is scary. It is hard to figure out what our next move is, when it is time to tackle our potential catastrophizing, or buckle down on our coping/survival strategies.
It is a natural human response to feel out of control in ambiguous situations. It is natural to try and gain control over the situation or in other areas (see: All the Facebook memes about stores being out of toilet paper). A parent dealing with a ‘defiant’ child sometimes creates more rules, consequences, and noise to overpower the problem at hand. A child who has just entered the foster care system may suddenly start organizing their clothes with military precision. Seeking control is a natural human response to a scary situation.
Like the parent who engages in a power struggle with their kid, and like the kid who over-organizes their clothing, we just want to feel safe, secure, and okay again. Unfortunately, sometimes we are not okay, and sometimes situations will continue to be confusing and scary no matter what we do to change it. It can feel intolerable, right?
Instead, let’s focus on what we can control. As parents, we can take a deep breath before we respond to our child. As caregivers, we can create an environment at home and with a therapist to increase felt safety for the child. As people currently experiencing a strange and uncertain health threat, we can reduce risk by modifying travel plans, continuing to practice good hygiene, and seeking out information from rational, unbiased experts in the medical/health/safety fields. We can validate our own concerns, and be considerate of others. We can take precautions and still go to the grocery store (for now. And please don’t buy up the whole aisle of paper goods).
We can take a deep breath. We can wait for more information. We can help each other out. We can get through this.
(And we can do video sessions if your precautions include reduced travel and face-to-face meetings as much as possible in the next several weeks. Reach out here to set it up, and I’ll be happy to accommodate.)