Chaos and COVID: Strategies to Help Your Anxious Child Cope
Undoubtedly, life with COVID-19 is weighing on you. The upside-down way we’ve learned to approach our everyday lives and social connections is stressful and full of uncertainty. And through it all, our children are along for the ride, all the more anxious and upset for it.
To be fair, their anxiety is justified. The safety and general rhythms of life that keep them grounded were upended. And now, there are random tweaks to everyday activities that once seemed basic and permanent in their lives. Even the adults they relied on may seem less sure and capable than they once were.
It’s no wonder children are worried. But there is an upside to all of this.
You can still show your child how to cope, even if you can’t rush back to “normal life” again.
How? Face the future with your kids with intentional, proactive strategies like these below:
Strategies to Help Your Anxious Child Cope
1. Manage Their Media Exposure
The headlines are scary on purpose. It’s their job to alarm and interest you. However, your child may not be able to discern between sensationalism and journalism. Help them by reducing the amount of time watching, reading, or discussing pandemic news stories.
That’s not to say you should deny or ignore what’s happening. It’s simply wiser to filter that information in more age-appropriate ways.
2. Keep Talking Together
Help your children see that there is a difference between a serious situation and the sense that the sky is falling. Intentional, age-appropriate conversation with your children, can encourage less overreaction, fixation, and frightful rumination.
Take the time to talk about the pandemic clearly, compassionately, and honestly. Open communication signals that you can safely deal with uncertainty without avoiding or denying it.
Ask your kids to share what’s bothering them the most. Respect their views and share your own feelings. Encourage them to pay attention to their thoughts and compare them to what’s really happening. Identify emotions together that seem big and overwhelming. Get down on their level, listen, and engage. Then, problem-solve as a team.
3. Create Opportunities for Fun
Do recognize that anxiety in children can show up differently than it does in adults. Bickering, stomach aches, crying, etc. are common signs of unresolved anxiety. To help release tension, children often need opportunities to play.
Play is often a meaningful way to work out stress, safely try new things, express themselves, and preserve some continuity. Get them outside, away from the screens for some physical release as well.
4. Keep Providing Structure, Routine & Family Rituals
Kids thrive when consistency and predictability are in place. Finding ways to maintain a workable routine and stable environment is vital. Remind children that it’s still important to get up, get dressed, and eat breakfast. It’s still necessary to exercise, do chores, and go to bed at routine times.
Creating structure can help kids accept change and still feel grounded. For example, if you used to chat on the commute to school, make a habit of going for a daily walk or bike ride to connect similarly. Structure days to meet basic individual needs as well as make time together (to check in, play a board game, or cuddle). This can support your child’s ongoing need for reassurance and security.
5. Model Calm & Share Healthy Stress Relief Skills
Your children look to you for emotional direction. They read your face, body language, and tone of voice to determine what’s happening and how to react. Thus, you are a powerful influence right now.
Of course, this isn’t to say that you should be dishonest about your own feelings. In fact, your children need you to show them how to face fear without pretending like nothing’s wrong. You can admit that you’re concerned without panic. You might even share a few calming “tricks” with your child to use when things feel too upside-down. Teach them to use deep breathing exercises. Encourage them to slow down racing thoughts with quiet time and a journal or coloring book.
The idea is to show them that you still live life, interact with people, and maintain a sense of calm regardless of the circumstances.
Sort Things Out with Support
You’re not alone as you try to help your child through our unusual times. It’s okay if you’re struggling with your own emotions, your child’s needs, or need more specific help for your situation. Now is the time to seek that help.
A qualified, professional guide may be just what you both need. Let me help you move forward with more confidence and peace of mind. To learn more, please read about my child therapy services and reach out soon for a consultation to discuss how I can help you and your child.
Photo by Marco Ceschi on Unsplash