Dear Parents: These 6 Signs Indicate It Might Be Time for Couples Counseling
When you have kids, it’s often easy for your relationship to take a back seat. While that’s not uncommon and doesn’t mean you have to lose the “spark” between you and your partner, there’s a difference between putting your kids first and letting problems fester within your relationship.
Understanding some of the signs of relationship trouble is important. The sooner you’re able to recognize potential problems, the sooner you can get the help you and your partner deserve.
If you’re committed to the relationship and want to improve things together, couples counseling is a great option.
But, what are the signs you should be looking for?
1. There Is Underlying Resentment
If you’re a couple that “never fights,” you might think that’s a good thing. But, it could be because you’re holding things in from each other.
Every relationship has disagreements. When they’re done the right way, arguments can actually strengthen your bond. If you’re brushing things under the rug or holding on to past hurts, you could have a lot of built-up resentment for your partner that will eventually show itself.
2. You Don’t Prioritize Your Relationship
It’s normal to be busy and focus most of your attention on the kids. But, when you don’t actively spend any of your time on your relationship, it’s a problem. People with kids can still “date”. Even if you feel like you don’t have time for that, you can make time to really talk to your partner every day without distractions. If you’re not doing that, you could be dealing with major communication issues.
3. You Follow Conflict Patterns
Again, every couple has arguments. But, when your arguments start to seem/sound repetitive, there’s something deeper going on. When you disagree on something, your goal should be to come to a conclusion or a compromise. Bringing up the same things over and over without resolution indicates that you aren’t using the right “tools” to move forward together.
4. Your Kids Are Acting Out
You might not realize your relationship is struggling, but your kids will. Children and teenagers are very perceptive, and they’ll be quick to recognize when their parents aren’t getting along.
Unfortunately, that can lead to inappropriate behaviors and acting out in negative ways. Your kids might start to act up in school or their grades might drop. They could even start to show signs of anxiety or depression.
5. You Have a Hard Time Recovering
Going through conflicts in a relationship is normal. But, even if you’ve “resolved” the issue, how do you move forward? Does it still feel like you’re walking on eggshells for a while? Do you and your partner treat each other differently for a few days or weeks after an argument? Maybe you feel like you can’t fully be yourself or be comfortable around them after some of the things that were said.
6. You’re Worried About Things Ending
Couples counseling isn’t designed to be a last-ditch effort to save a marriage or relationship. But, if you’ve had thoughts about your relationship ending and you want to do whatever you can to save it, counseling can help.
Couples counseling can get to the roots of your relationship issues and serve as a neutral space for you to work things out with your partner. You’ll learn better communication skills, how to handle arguments, and how to show more vulnerability.
If your relationship is in need of some support, feel free to contact me.
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