Emotional Overload: Understanding Your Child’s Dysregulation
It’s not uncommon for parents to wonder if their child is handling their emotions in a healthy, effective way. Kids act out from time to time, and that’s normal.
But, if you feel as though your child’s behaviors or responses to their own emotions aren’t adding up, you might want to look deeper.
They may be dealing with emotional dysregulation.
Dysregulation in children simply refers to their inability to manage their emotional responses. They may experience a wide range of different emotions within a short period of time or emotions that don’t necessarily “fit” with the situation.
It’s important to understand that if your child is dealing with dysregulation, they aren’t choosing to act out or be “bad.” Instead, we need to get to the bottom of what’s going on and find a solution that helps.
What Causes Dysregulation?
Several factors contribute to emotional dysregulation. Keep in mind that it’s not a disorder, but a combination of behaviors. The behaviors can be indicative of other conditions, including:
ADHD
Anxiety disorders
Mood disorders
Poor sleep quality/quantity
Emotional dysregulation can also be the result of a traumatic experience. If a child is struggling with fear, sadness, anger, or worry, they might try to detach themselves from their own emotions as a sort of defense mechanism.
If you can pinpoint a specific reason why your child might be dealing with dysregulation, you can use that as a springboard to help them. But, things aren’t always that clear, so don’t be frustrated if you can’t come up with a cause.
What Are the Symptoms?
The symptoms of dysregulation tend to be slightly different from children to adults. The baseline you should be focused on is an inability in your child to express their emotions properly. But, some of the more specific signs include anxiety, outbursts of anger, dramatic changes in their mood, or extreme fits of crying.
If these symptoms are left unchecked, your child may deal with more serious signs as they get older. In adults, emotional dysregulation can lead to depression or even thoughts of self-harm.
How to Respond Effectively
Because emotional dysregulation isn’t a “disorder,” there is no one treatment option. But, you can respond to the dysregulation in several ways that will be helpful for both you and your child.
First, be a model for them. Show them how you handle and respond to certain emotions, even when they escalate. When your child sees that (or when you explain it to them), they will have a better understanding of how to keep their own emotions regulated.
Praise their efforts when you see them trying. If you know your child is trying to express their emotions effectively and positively, let them know how proud you are and how well they are doing.
It’s also important to validate your child’s emotions, no matter what. Even if they are “acting out,” throwing a tantrum, or crying, stay calm. Let them know you understand how they are feeling and talk to them about how that emotion can be difficult. Validation can go a long way in helping a child calm down. Once they are, you can talk further about how to handle those emotions in a healthier way.
In some cases, certain types of therapy can help your child with regulating their emotions. If you’re having a hard time helping them on your own, please read more about child therapy and schedule a consultation today. Helping your child with emotional dysregulation now can put them on the path towards being emotionally-secure and stable adults in the future.
Photo by Gabby Orcutt on Unsplash