What You Need to Know About Raising Kids with ADHD
Having a child with ADHD, you know how important it is to pick your battles. Positively parenting your child must be intentional. The goal is to stay focused on the truth of your child’s needs and challenges. ADHD creates differences in executive functioning. Your child’s ability to organize, control their impulses, plan ahead, and execute tasks will be different than other children who do not have attention deficit challenges.
You know what those on the outside looking in may not: your child often wants to follow your direction, but they just struggle to figure out how.
So the challenge remains: How to support and guide your child while creating a compassionate, encouraging environment that allows you both to overcome daily challenges well.
Fortunately, there is a productive path for you both to follow. Consider the steps below to start:
Be as Clear and Consistent as Possible
Unclear expectations are a quick way to create misunderstanding and cause pushback. As you likely know, this can occur when you assume your child knows a rule and appears to break it. The resulting meltdown is usually preventable when you can proactively give clear, simple explanations (and practice patience!).
Clarity, for kids with ADHD, generally includes visual reminders and organized systems. Keep your instructions simple, with minimal steps. Encourage your child to come back to you for reminders or for the next couple of steps in the process.
Create Sustainable Structure
For your peace of mind and theirs, gift your child with as much structure as possible. This is not a call to be rigid and harsh or overly strict. Think of this as modeling boundaries and organization to serve them long-term. Some ideas include:
Establishment of routines. Do your best to set regular times for meals, homework, recreation, and bedtime.
Impress upon your child the need for neat, organized spaces. Designate a place or zone for things and activities. For instance, set up a drop zone for outerwear and backpacks, a study zone, etc.
Employ timers, lists, and digital notifications to encourage your child to stay on track with tasks, chores, and more. Patiently and positively, keep your child on track with homework, playtime, or getting ready for school or bed.
Try to strike a balance between idle time and overwhelming your child, either can increase ADHD symptoms.
Find Reasons to Be as Positive as You Can
It’s important not to underestimate your child’s longing for praise. It can be difficult to live with constant correction. Efforts to “catch your child doing something good” are often referred to as positive reinforcement.
Smile and hug your child. Use humor to temper firmness. Say three times as many positive things as you do negative. Your praise, will be sure to bolster your own spirits as well as increase the sense of closeness between you.
Teach What You Know About Spending Time with Others
Many children with ADHD struggle socially. You can help your child feel less anxious and prepared to socialize by offering support and clear guidance. Rather than lecture or instruct (which isn’t likely to stick with them anyway), engage actively to teach your child social skills. For example, practice listening, reading facial and body cues, and role-playing various common interactions.
Pay attention to your child’s concerns and respond with serious consideration. As you show them how to handle different situations, be honest, gentle, and intentional. Encourage change, but don’t force it. Use any frustrations or missteps as teachable moments.
Encourage Exercise and Good Nutrition
Most of the time, children with ADHD have an abundance of energy. Give your child as many opportunities as you can to burn off energy during the day. Space and playing outdoors is the most beneficial. Allowing time outdoors encourages them to use both their brains and bodies, possibly observe other children, and obtain the benefits of the sun and fresh air. All of this will support concentration, brain development, muscle coordination, and more restful sleep.
Along similar lines, pay attention to the foods your child eats as well. Bond with your child with as much fresh, wholesome meals as you can. Try to limit fatty, processed, and sugar-laden foods. Set mealtimes will ensure that their distractibility won’t cause them to miss meals, overeat, or snack heavily on junk food. Regular nutritious meals support balanced nourishment and predictable sustenance for your child’s brain and body.
Pay Attention to You
Parenting amid the challenges of ADHD can be alternately trying and rewarding. On top of all the other obligations and anxieties of everyday life, it’s important that you take care of your own needs. This, of course will keep you refreshed and more able to parent patiently and compassionately.
So, take the breaks you need. Identify what helps you feel calm, focused, and positive. You may consider mindfulness meditation, yoga, and journaling. Seek the support of loved ones, regular adult interaction and creative activity too.
Consider Professional Support
Counseling can be an invaluable resource for understanding your child’s challenges and amending your parenting accordingly. Sharing your experiences and concerns with a trusted, qualified person can bring relief and a path forward. To find out if parent counseling from an experienced therapist could benefit you, please feel free to contact me.