Key Tips to Connect Despite Your Social Anxiety
When you have social anxiety, connecting with others can feel overwhelming and nearly impossible. You want to develop friendships and relationships, and nurture the ones you have, but sometimes you just feel stuck.
People with social anxiety need relationships as much as anyone else. Isolation is a dangerous problem and can contribute to a variety of mental health issues.
How can you connect with others despite your social anxiety? What can you do to get close with people when that anxiety threatens to overwhelm you?
Let’s look at a few key tips you can put into practice in any social setting.
Don’t Ignore Negative Thoughts
Some of the biggest challenges that come with social anxiety are negative thoughts. Your mind might start to race over the idea of being out with people. So, it might make sense to try to ignore those thoughts, right?
Not necessarily.
Trying to completely ignore your negative, worrisome thoughts can feel impossible. It might even make you more overwhelmed. Instead, let those thoughts come.
Don’t judge yourself for having negative thoughts. Accept the thoughts as they are, observe them without giving them weight. Tell them you see them, and then keep moving forward. It might sound silly, but doing this helps lessen their impact and can help you feel more in control.
Make Small Goals
When you find yourself in a social situation, take some pressure off yourself to perform or impress others. Instead, make your overall goal simply to stay awhile. If you start to feel overwhelmed and panicked, take a breath (and maybe a quick restroom break). Setting smaller goals throughout the situation can make it easier to stay present and connect with people. Your goals can also include things like:
Making eye contact during a conversation
Smiling at someone new
Giving someone a compliment
Introducing yourself to someone you’ve never met
The more of these small goals you accomplish, the more your confidence will build and anxiety will waiver.
Work Your Way Up
If you know you have a big event coming up where there will be a lot of people present, it can help to “practice” how things might go. You can even drive to the location of the event to give yourself peace of mind.
Other than that, consider how your conversations might happen. What questions will you ask? Which questions do you think people might ask you? You can practice asking and answering in a mirror ahead of time.
The more prepared you are, the less likely it will be for something to overwhelm you.
Additionally, if you’re planning on going to an event where you know there will be dozens of people, it’s okay to start smaller. Go out to dinner with a few friends, or work your way up by attending a smaller event first. There is nothing wrong with “baby steps” when it comes to managing your social anxiety.
Take Care of Yourself
Self-care is more than just a buzzword, especially when you’re dealing with anxiety. When you find yourself in a social situation, listen to your mind and body first. Understand your limits and don’t feel forced to “push” them. Fighting back against your anxiety is one thing, but it’s important to know when to step back and find a moment to be alone.
Remember, you do not need to be the evening’s entertainment and you don’t have to force yourself to stay at an event the entire time. If you can only stay for half of it, consider that a win. If you can only talk to a few people, consider that a win. First and foremost, make your well-being a priority. Do what you can, but keep an attitude of self-care in mind.
If social anxiety feels like it’s taking over your life, you’re certainly not alone.
What’s next? Read more about anxiety treatment. Then, reach out for support and guidance. I’m happy to help. Schedule a consultation or your first appointment today.
Photo by Christina Victoria Craft on Unsplash