Parents Need a Break (Part 1)
The school year is coming to an end. “Virtual school” has been strange and stressful for many families, especially if it has been accompanied by financial worries or the struggle to work (with many interruptions and a general lack of focus) from home. We’re about to turn the corner and find ourselves in summer. For many, this is the time of year that promises more relaxation, maybe a vacation, babysitters returning from college, or summer camps. But this summer? Where is our carrot on the end of this very long stick named Shelter-In-Place? Even as some cities start opening back up, many camps, vacation sites, and summer programs… won’t. If you’re like my clients, you have been following the news and the numbers and trying to decide how much you want to risk to create some kind of summer fun and, let’s be honest, get some kind of a break. Because y’all need a break, especially after months of isolation and limitations (and, let’s be honest again, excessive screen time for all).
How do you, who may be at that point where you feel you’ve been white-knuckling this parenting thing for the last several weeks, get a break when it doesn’t feel safe to get a sitter and leave the house for a while? How do you structure your days so summer feels fun and different from the rest of the year, when your vacation plans have been canceled? How do you, the overworked and exhausted parent, safely create some time and space to recharge, or zone out, or even nap, when your kids are ALWAYS RIGHT THERE WITH THE “WHAT’S NEXT? I’M BORED!”
(Sigh. Give me a second to collect myself.)
I wish I could give you some great, safe and COVID-free vacation ideas, or solve the riddle of “0 childcare + working parent(s) + offices opening back up = ???.” I’m still brainstorming but will definitely spread the word if I find the answers. What I have come up with is a list of ideas that might help parents grab a break on a daily basis, even while everyone is still stuck at home together this summer. I’ve grouped these ideas into three categories:
1. Somewhat Easy (AKA Screentime)
2. Quiet/Sensory Time
3. More Challenging/Enterprising.
This week, I’ll get into some ideas that fall under the Somewhat Easy (AKA Screentime) category:
Yes, the first suggestion is probably something we’ve all done a bunch already: Ease up on your screen restrictions (skip this section and stay tuned for next week’s post, if your kids’ brains don’t allow them to be on screens for a while without being severely disregulated afterwards). This is your official permission slip to let the kids watch an extra movie here and there, ideally in another room. Bonus points if you can find movies that will hold their attention longer than 90 minutes (hint: Disney’s newer Aladdin movie is over two hours).
You can also set up video calls with family and friends through a number of different platforms (i.e., Zoom, Google Meet, FaceTime). Instead of just crossing your fingers that your kids will have a nice, mature, conversation with Aunt Sally for an hour, create a plan for the call: Uno can be played if each household has the game or can download it, charades can get everyone improvising and moving, screen-sharing the whiteboard in Zoom can get everyone laughing as you try to guess what the other person is drawing.
If you don’t have family or friends available to video chat now and then and keep the kids entertained, there are other activities the kids can do online that do not require adult collaboration. For kids who enjoy creative writing, they can create their own storybook on My Storybook.com. Kids who enjoy making art can create it online via several different websites: Skillshare has free online lessons and lists the amount of time each lesson will take (even has one that is a full hour). Or, check out all 15 archived episodes of Lunchtime Doodles with Mo Willems (each is good for 20-30 minutes). To keep it simple, Scrap Coloring provides free online coloring pages.
For kids who need more physical activity, get them dancing with Rae on the MoveTube Network (7-minute dance routine), or learn a hip hop routine on Mihran TVDance (15-minutes). If they like dance parties, they can spend 30 minutes dancing along with the Kidz Bop Kids. For younger dancers, there’s Five Little Monkeys (20 minutes and, heads-up: Baby Shark). For the little ones with larger attention spans, Pinkfong has over an hour of music and stories for them.
Lastly, for parents who aren’t totally comfortable putting screens into their children’s hands purely for entertainment: There are plenty of educational apps out there that can make screentime a learning opportunity. The good news is that, if your kids have been online schooling for awhile, they probably know how to find some of these educational games already (i.e., Math Games and GoNoodle). They can find more games, puzzles, and classes at Funbrain Jr., New American History, and HippoCampus. For littles, Beanstalk is free during the COVID-19 outbreak and offers some fun and creative lessons.
After all that, let me reiterate: You need a break and you DESERVE a break. I hope you find these ideas helpful and that you use them to find a few pockets of quiet, alone time throughout your day. Even 30 minutes of being ‘off-duty’ can help you cope with the remaining 1,410. Next week, we’ll dive into ideas to occupy kids with more sensory and self-regulation needs.
If you’re able to use these ideas to carve out some time for yourself and find that you could use more support, please feel free to reach out. I’m here, and happy to help.