Parents Need a Break (Part 2)
This is Part 2 of a three-part series, aimed at helping parents find some time to themselves when they (and the kids) have no place to go. Part 1 was all about giving y’all permission to use screens as a way to grab some much-needed down time, with specific ideas and links to help parents be more intentional with screens. Today is all about SENSORY INPUT and CALM DOWN activities that kids can do independently (or, in the same space as Mom but without a lot of supervision).
A lot of kids need some quiet time during the day to regulate and recharge, just like we adults do. Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a kid who can recognize and articulate this need. And I’m sure many of you parents are familiar with the kind of reaction that often follows the suggestion to take some “quiet time.”
A little rest and recharge time does not have to mean doing nothing. There are plenty of activities that can keep your kids interested, while helping them slow down and regulate. If your child enjoys listening to stories, audiobooks are a great idea to keep their brains engaged while their bodies are still. Audible, for example, has some great books for kids (and is offering a kids-listen-free promo during this pandemic). If your child enjoys listening to stories, but does not have the stamina for multiple hours of one story, podcasts are another option. There are many podcasts available that are geared towards kids: Some are all about story-telling, while others are geared towards learning, and some focus on providing child-friendly music playlists. A few podcasts from my Recommended list are: Story Pirates, What If World, and Spare the Rock Spoil the Child.
Some kids just can’t sit quietly and listen to a story or podcast. They might need to be moving, creating, and touching: For many kids, they regulate their emotional state and recharge their energy by getting their sensory needs met. This means that parents might have to do a little extra planning and procuring for these activities. Also, in case you are not familiar with sensory seekers, this is your heads-up that some of the most satisfying activities are also the messiest.
If you desperately need some time to yourself but don’t have enough energy to really prep for an activity or feel up to the mess, go check to see if you have any extra shaving cream on hand. Kids can play with shaving cream in the bathtub the same way they might have enjoyed finger painting when they were little, and clean up is a breeze. You can also take the shaving cream outside for a different version of spray paint/graffiti, if you don’t mind shaving cream all over your yard or driveway. Another outside option is, of course, chalk. You can make it more interesting by instructing the kids to draw outlines around themselves or each other, and then adding accessories or wild outfits to the outlines.
While we’re brainstorming outside activities: A kiddie pool can be a fun, inexpensive way for parents to get some downtime. Fill the pool with water, park a lawn chair nearby, and read a book or listen to your own podcast while the kids splash around. For the sensory seekers, you can fill the pool with just a little bit of water, and allow them to dump dirt into it until they have a good mud pile. Give them some cups, spoons, and other safe items, and let them dig and mold and dump to their hearts’ content.
If you’d prefer to keep the activity indoors (and keep the mud to a minimum), you can always organize a creative, quiet activity like painting their own t-shirts, fabric totes, or even old pillow cases if that’s what is available. If you don’t have fabric paint, kids can use permanent markers, or even water with food coloring poured in. Just be sure everyone is okay with multi-colored fingers for the next several days if you don’t have gloves handy.
For kids who like to work with their hands but aren’t feeling creative, one activity I love is Building a House of Cards. You can use regular playing cards, the Uno deck, or even index cards if you have a pack stashed somewhere. This activity requires virtually no supervision and is great for calming and focusing the brain (if your children get caught up in sibling rivalry and power struggles, however, definitely have them build separate structures… separately). This is also a wonderful way to justify keeping those incomplete card decks around: If you can’t use them for an actual card game, keep them specifically for house-building. Better yet, let the kids fold those cards to create strong corners and sturdier structures (the fewer times the house falls, the longer kids tend to stay interested in this activity).
Lastly, and ambitiously, let’s talk about old appliances. If you have an old radio, hard drive, or DVD player tucked away because you’re never sure how or where to dispose of it, now is its time to shine. Now, we’re not going to give the very young or developmentally delayed child a hammer and screw driver and tell them to “go nuts, kid!” But for the more responsible and capable kids, taking apart an old appliance can be a great way to explore, learn, and yes, spend an hour or two independently entertaining themselves. This is a wonderful activity for children (and teens) who need to touch, explore, and keep their hands busy in order for their brains to calm down. And bonus points if they can put the item back together again!
After all of that, let me reiterate: You need a break and you DESERVE a break. I hope you find these ideas helpful and that you use them to find a few pockets of quiet, alone time throughout your day. As I’ll remind you again next week: Even 30 minutes of being ‘off-duty’ can help you cope with the remaining 1,410. Next week, we’ll dive into ideas to occupy kids who are more enterprising and/or respond positively to external motivation.
If you’re able to use these ideas to carve out some time for yourself and find that you could use more support, please feel free to reach out. I’m here, and happy to help.