What You Can Do To Support Your Teen’s Path to Self-Sufficiency
Right now, teens from all walks of life are wrestling with the traditional challenges of growing up. Their world of alternately necessary and intrusive technology is confusing. The changeable accommodations that come with living through a pandemic make independence all the more challenging.
In fact, with all of this facing them, teens need their parents to support some key growth and life skills. How can you prepare them for a successful leap from your nest? Consider the following as a guide:
Foster Resilience
Teens make mistakes. This is something you and your family can embrace without shaming or blaming. You don’t need to micromanage all of their choices. Graciously consider your teen’s missteps as teachable moments. Embrace natural consequences. Give them a chance to see failure as an opportunity to learn, revise their standards, and set their goals higher.
Promote Financial Responsibility
Financial inexperience and youthful natural impulsivity can lead to poor monetary management. Economic guidance is a gift that keeps on giving! Show your teen see how money works.
Talk about budgets, insurance, and emergency funds. Give them a chance to take on some or all of their expenses. A clear idea of their personal needs and wants now promotes wiser spending later.
Put Them in the Position to Problem-Solve
When things go wrong, your teen needs to feel confident that they can work through the challenges. Resist the urge to rescue and fix when problems arise.
Instead: Be a sounding board, ask questions, and guide. Help them find ways to seek solutions with less anxiety, more curiosity, and an open mind.
Support a Solid Work Ethic
We work to survive and thrive. You can ward off entitlement and teach responsibility without nagging or demands. Assign chores, collaborative efforts as part of your family life. Expect quality work and reward it openly.
The key is to show your appreciation for their willingness to serve when you ask and when you don’t. Simply showing them that work is part of life is an invaluable lesson. Include them in household maintenance. Basic skills like meal prep, home repair, laundry, cleaning, and yard work are invaluable. A part-time job may be beneficial if they can work safely.
Discuss Healthy Relationships (and How to Identify Poor Ones)
Talk about friendships and their ideas about potential partners. Listen well. Discuss what they see in the media or on social media. Without lecturing, engage in frequent conversations over time. Talk about the importance of healthy connections and recognizing relationship red flags. Note: These don’t need to be heavy, sit-down conversations. You can touch on these topics while running errands together, cooking, or driving.
Communicate About Emotions
Teens often feel things deeply, certain that no one else understands. Offer empathy (do you remember how this life stage felt?), let them know you believe their feelings are valid. To help them feel more in control of their emotions, remind them to ask “what’s true?” and “what are my needs?” Talk to them often about self-care and sharing their feelings.
Help your teen deal with internal confusion or external pressures. Encourage them to slow down, identify emotions and accept their feelings. Compassionately communicate about feelings without judgment.
Celebrate Competency and Self-Control
Most of all, ‘catch’ your teen growing up and celebrate them! As they become more competent and confident, they need your approval and positivity. The more you affirm your teen’s efforts to be mature, communicative, and cooperative, the more your relationship will benefit.
Sometimes Transitioning to Self-Sufficiency Needs Some Extra Guidance
You are still a major influence in your teen’s life. Now is the time to be supportive without being (too) protective.
Easier said than done? That’s okay. You may need some direction too.
Seek sound advice and guidance from a therapist who has experience with teens and parents alike. I am here for you and your teen. Let’s support your teen together. Please read more about teen counseling here, or reach out for a consultation soon.