Key Signs of Parental Burnout (and tips to reclaim your balance!)
So. After months of locking down, homeschooling, sibling squabbles, shared spaces, and fraying patience, how are you doing? It’s important to answer honestly.
If you mentally just, kind of, shrugged but, in your mind, a long string of the uglier emojis on your phone came to mind, then burnout may be brewing.
Don’t beat yourself up. You’re not alone. In fact, you’re just like a legion of other parents trying to cope. If you feel isolated and unable to experience the rewards of raising your kids, many of your neighbors are right there with you.
So what, then? Are you just stuck? Do you go on feeling worn out and overworked? Will you just have to accept that this is what parenting looks like now?
No way! You can start enjoying your kids again and you can regain some personal balance. First, you need to know what you’re dealing with. Then, you need to incorporate a few new practices. Soon, you can bust the burnout and support self-care and sanity in your household.
Have You Noticed These Signs of Parental Burnout?
Parental burnout is not difficult to diagnose– if you know what to look for. If you aren’t sure whether you’re wrestling with burnout or something else, consider the following symptoms:
Early signs of burnout are severe physical and mental exhaustion. In addition, symptoms of parental burnout can include the following:
escape fantasy; feeling trapped
addictive behavior
health problems
anxious and/or depressive thinking
emotional detachment
disrupted sleep
feelings of inadequacy
increase in irritability, frustration, lack of patience
frequent conflict between you and your partner
neglectful or violent behavior toward your child
Do some of these symptoms ring true? What keeps you from dealing with them?
If you’re like many parents, you are not only existing in a state of physical, mental, and emotional fatigue; you’re carrying shame and guilt about being burned out, too.
“Bad parent” and mental health stigmas often lead to avoidance and a prolonged downward spiral. The resulting depression, anxiety, and chronic disease can thoroughly upend a family.
The key to resolving such distress? A healing balance of practical steps, prioritized care, and emotional support.
Tips to Reclaim Some Balance and Peace of Mind
Parenting can be both an energy sapper and an energy booster. Burnout signals an imbalance of that activity. How can you balance caregiving with parental reward? Try the following ideas:
1. Don’t Quit on Quiet Time
You have to have some space and time to rest your brain. To-do lists, meal prep, laundry, homework, emails…all of it can be paused. For just a little while each day, your mind and body need to let down and calm down.
Find a comfortable spot inside or outdoors and just breathe deeply for a while.
Try to relax and release the tension in your muscles. Slow down your thoughts and stay present. You don’t have to pray or meditate, but feel free to do so. The goal is to tune out kids, tech, and your own inner critic to routinely soak in silence.
2. Restructure Your Life to Include YOU
Structure your family life differently. It’s okay to adjust your expectations. You have the right and power to adjust what no longer works for you. The aim is to be the person and parent you want to be, not to exhaust yourself trying to fit into some ideal image of parenting and family life.
To make meaningful changes will likely involve a real commitment to boundaries, and a firm rejection of inauthenticity. Parents have to say “no” to do their jobs well. The myriad of parenting obligations, responsibilities, and projects you have on your plate must be edited down. Stay still and reevaluate what you really want your kids to see and know about you and their family. Give yourself time to craft a new schedule and free up more of the day.
Try to reduce the task list, commutes, and errands. Increase the cuddles, conversations, and connection. Those are the rewards that recharge your parenting heart.
3. Let it All Out in a Journal
When it comes to parenting, journaling might be one of the most beneficial things you can do. Writing regularly is a way to step back, stay grounded, and put things in perspective. After you’ve done it a while, you can see the patterns and personality traits that influence your parenting journey.
Moreover, writing keeps you present and less prone to stuffing the stress of parenting inside. Pour it out on the pages and let it go.
4. Skipping Self-care is Not an Option
Parents can get to a place where all of their energy is poured into their child’s needs. Even the basics of personal care suffer. Your body houses the heart and mind that care for your children. It needs to be in top shape for the long haul. Otherwise, a cycle of poor health and mental fatigue will take over.
Nutrition, hydration, and movement are musts. Take long walks with a water bottle while snacking on a bag of nuts and raw veggies. Cold coffee and a handful of dry cereal just won’t do.
5. Put Away Your Pride.
It isn’t necessary to be a super-parent. Instead, ask for help. Share your struggle. Build community. Communication is paramount for parents. Attempting to shoulder it all is futile and makes the journey much less enjoyable.
Concentrate instead on being present, honest, and forthcoming. People love you and want to help you: Tell them how.
Other parents are tired too. Create a support group, build a carpool, homeschool network, or errand cooperative. Try to parent with a certain amount of vulnerability and openness. Then, people can see in and support you before you wear yourself out. You deserve the help.
Most of All, Seek Professional Help When Needed
If all your attention and energy on your children and it seems you have nothing left for yourself, these tips are a great start. Yet, undoubtedly, there is more to your individual parenting story. Time with a therapist can help you dig a little deeper to determine your needs and goals. Please read more about parent counseling and contact me for a free consultation.
I’m here to help. Let’s help you cope more with the demands of parenthood today so that you look back with joy and gratitude later.